Courtship Behaviour
by kesdax
Summary: It starts with chocolate


_1._

It starts with chocolate.

* * *

Steven Caldwell appears at her office door twenty minutes after the _Daedalus _lands on the east pier, box of her favourite Belgian chocolates in his hand. Elizabeth blinks in surprise when he hands the box over; oddly flattered by his thoughtfulness when he stutters about how he remembered they were her favourite. She thanks him and doesn't bat an eyelid when Chuck grins behind the Colonel's back.

She stashes the candy in her room, saving them for one of those _really_ bad days and promptly forgets about the whole incident.

* * *

Two months later, when the _Daedalus_ returns to Atlantis with a fresh bunch of recruits, Colonel Caldwell appears at her office door and wastes no time asking her to lunch. She agrees readily, more for the fact her stomach rumbled not five minutes ago than anything else and she accompanies him to the mess hall, smiling wildly as he makes small talk about his trip. He shares an anecdote about Hermiod that has her chuckling so much that she misses the curious looks that shoot her way from the control tower staff.

Lunch is pleasant. Caldwell's much easier to talk to these days since he accepted the fact that he wasn't going to be Atlantis' commanding military officer anytime soon. She finds herself enjoying his company, and it's nice to talk to someone for once without being pestered about the mundane day to day business of Atlantis. Caldwell regales her with tales from back on Earth and catches her up on the latest world news. It makes her feel a tiny bit homesick, but when Caldwell makes a joke about the Goa'uld's inability once again to take over the Earth, she's cheered up enough to finish the rest of her lunch with relative ease.

* * *

When Steven next returns to Atlantis, he challenges her to a game of chess over a bottle of merlot he's smuggled to the Pegasus Galaxy. She's in a good mood after finalising a particularly tricky trade agreement, so she accepts readily, in the mood to celebrate.

She doesn't notice the Colonel's hand on the small of her back as he leads them to his temporary quarters in the city, chatting amicably as they pass Doctors McKay and Zelenka in a heated argument. Rodney pauses mid-sentence as they pass, an odd look on his face as he watches them enter Caldwell's quarters.

The wine is good. It's been a little while since she's had anything remotely alcoholic and the beverage goes straight to her head, leaving her slightly tipsy and dissolving her strategic skills into nothing. Steven mocks her lightly when she's left with nothing but her king and a lonely pawn, check mating her easily as she giggles pleasantly over her mug of wine.

Steven offers to walk her back to her own room when she calls it a night and she's grateful for the arm to lean on as the blood rushes to her head, leaving her dizzy. It's her own fault for drinking on an empty stomach as she realises belatedly that she forgot to grab dinner.

"That was fun, I enjoyed that," Elizabeth comments as they round the corner to the corridor that houses her quarters.

"Well, you looked like you needed it," Steven replies.

She giggles at that but she doesn't know why. "Colonel Caldwell, are you suggesting that I don't know how to have fun?"

Steven grins. "Absolutely not."

"Hm," she harrumphs, not believing him.

"We should do this again sometime," he says when they reach her door.

"Yes, we should," she says and she means it. She hasn't had an evening off in months and she can't remember the last time she spent a whole three hours not worrying about Atlantis, the Wraith or any number of their ever growing list of enemies.

She finds herself giving him a quick peck on the cheek before she can think about it and blames it on the alcohol and her giddy mood.

"Goodnight," she mutters, retreating into her room and promptly collapsing on the bed to have the most dreamless sleep she's had in a long time.

* * *

Two hive ships enter the solar system and it's a good thing the _Daedalus _is there to scare them away. They cloak the city just in case but the warship manages to destroy one of the hives, leaving the other severely damaged enough so that a complement of F-302 fighters can take out their communication systems before the wraith can call for reinforcements.

When the danger is over, the _Daedalus_ docks on the east pier for repairs, pushing their return to Earth back by a week. Colonel Caldwell is left at a bit of a loose end and he spends his time either hovering over his crew as they make repairs (and getting mostly in their way, Elizabeth rather suspects) or inviting himself to military briefings under the pretence of "providing a second opinion if needed".

John glares at him openly the first time Caldwell opens his mouth to shoot down Major Lorne's proposal for a return trip to M5X-703.

Elizabeth observes the military men silently; ready to step in if their argument gets out of hand. The call is ultimately up to her, and she sides with Caldwell purely on the basis of the planet having nothing of value worth risking another venture through the gate for.

Lorne accepts her decision gracefully but John storms out of the conference room, a heavy glare on his face.

"Dinner?" Steven suggests as she's gathering up her things.

"It's three thirty," she deadpans, glancing at her watch.

"I meant tonight," he retorts with a small smile.

"Okay," she says with a smile of her own as they leave the conference room together, "dinner sounds good."

* * *

She's expecting the mess hall but when Steven shows up at her door, changed out of his uniform and dressed in civilian clothes, she realises that's not what he has in mind. She's still dressed in her customary red shirt and grey pants, but he doesn't seem to mind as he leads her to one of the balconies overlooking the west pier. He's got a table set up for two and another bottle of wine. She wonders absently if he's got a secret stash on board the _Daedalus_ that he keeps just in case.

The view overlooking the ocean as the sun sets is spectacular and this takes up most of her attention as she nibbles at her food. The conversation has dried up, but the silence is comfortable and when she finally drags her eyes away from the landscape she finds Steven watching her closely, his dinner forgotten. She blushes slightly under his scrutiny and quickly finishes her meal to give herself something to do.

By the time they are both finished, she's managed to restart the conversation and begins telling him about Rodney's latest discoveries in the Ancient database. Steven listens amiably, but she can tell he has something else on his mind as he walks her back to her quarters.

Elizabeth gets a sense of Déjà vu as they round the corner to her room. It's still early evening and some of the expedition members are still about and wide awake.

"This was nice," says Elizabeth as they stop outside her door.

"Yes, it was," Steven agrees.

She wishes him goodnight and is startled when he leans his face forward, his lips grazing hers so briefly that she can almost pretend that she imagined it. She wonders where it came from, if it was just a small kiss between friends.

She presents him with a small smile and says goodnight again before he can say or do anything else.

* * *

She's on her way to an early morning briefing with the science teams when John's hand clamps around her wrist and he drags her into an empty science lab.

Not used to being manhandled by her commanding military officer, Elizabeth glares at him and finds herself filled with righteous indignation at his impudence.

"What the hell, John?"

"We need to talk," John says. Either he's inept at reading her or he's choosing to ignore her warning tone. She suspects he knows her better than that and she's filled with a fury that she hasn't felt the need to throw his way since the last time he disobeyed one of her orders.

"And we're doing it in here and not in my office, because?" she asks, arms folded and staring him down.

"Because," says John through gritted teeth. "I don't want anyone overhearing this."

"Overhearing what?" she says, her fury dying a bit to be replaced with confusion. She's never seen John quite this agitated.

"You can't be serious," says John incredulously. "The entire city knows."

"Knows what?" she says. "Dammit, John, what is going on?"

"Everyone knows about you and Caldwell," says John.

"Excuse me?" says Elizabeth and the look of confusion she gives him is genuine.

"It's inappropriate," John says authoritatively.

Her eyes widen at that. All thoughts of just what the entire city thinks is going on between her and Caldwell disappear. All she can focus on is John and the audacity that he, of all people, is telling her what is appropriate and what isn't.

"There is nothing… _inappropriate_ going on between me and Caldwell," she says forcefully.

John snorts. "Please, you've been dating him for months."

"What?" says Elizabeth in disbelief. "I have not."

"Yes, you have," says John quietly. She looks up, surprised by the hurt in his voice. He quickly recovers and lists every time she's been seen with Caldwell over the past few months. Every long lunch and late night dinner and she's amazed by the detail, vows to double the paperwork for everyone in Atlantis to give them something better to do than obsessively stalk her supposed love life.

She can feel her face turn red when John brings up the kiss. She racks her brain, trying to think who could have seen them and tattled. She hadn't been all that worried about being seen. She had still been under the impression that they were two friends having dinner.

Clearly she was wrong.

"Oh my god," she says weakly, hands covering her face as she shakes her head. "I'm dating Colonel Caldwell…"

"You didn't know?" says John.

She shakes her head again, too embarrassed to look at him.

"How do you accidentally date someone?"

Elizabeth glares at him. "What the hell am I going to do?" she asks desperately.

John shrugs. "Let him down gently?"

"Helpful, John," she says sarcastically, "thanks."

* * *

Letting Steven down gently goes easier than she expects.

She doesn't know whether it was brave or stupid to do it in her office, but she hopes it will put an end to the wild rumours once and for all. She can see Chuck glance up surreptitiously from his work when he thinks she isn't looking and most of the other technicians aren't being so subtle about it. Elizabeth has to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"I'm not ready for a relationship," she explains to him. Which loosely translates into _I'm not interested in a relationship with you._

Steven takes it well and just smiles sadly at her and says, "Yeah, I figured."

"I'd still like to be friends," she adds and cringes inwardly at how cliché she sounds.

He just nods and as he leaves her office, she knows there will be no more dinners overlooking the pier, no more evening chess matches. Elizabeth finds herself feeling oddly hollow at the thought of that, but it's more the companionship, and not the man, that she thinks she will miss.

_2._

Again, it starts with chocolate.

* * *

John returns from a mission off-world and after he's debriefed her he hands her over a box of something dark that looks suspiciously like chocolate.

"I, uh, got this for you," John stutters, the tips of his ears going slightly pink.

The confectionary is certainly sweet enough to mimic Earth chocolate, but it leaves a tangy aftertaste in her mouth that makes her only able to eat small bits at a time.

John doesn't comment on the gesture, and she puts it out of her mind. Besides, this isn't the first time he's ever brought her anything back from off-world.

* * *

They have lunch most days anyway, but lately their talk has turned more towards themselves than their work. John tells her about his early days in the Air Force, how he threw up in the cockpit the first time he ever flew a fighter jet by himself. She tells him about the first time she ever brokered a treaty, how being put in charge of the Atlantis expedition was like a homecoming.

For the first time in her life, she tells someone about the day that her father died. John listens to her quietly and his fingers gently brush against hers in sympathy. The mild touch is comforting and it helps her hold back the tears that have been threatening to fall since the moment she started her story. She hasn't opened up to anyone like this in a long time and it leaves her feeling oddly vulnerable. But John smiles at her reassuringly and she feels like she can defeat anything.

* * *

They start taking long walks around the pier in the summer when Rodney accidently breaks Atlantis' internal environmental controls and it becomes too hot to stay indoors. When the physicist has them fixed three days later, the walks have become a habit that neither one of them are inclined to break.

Elizabeth enjoys the way the summer breeze ruffles her hair and the smell of salt in the air helps her think better as John goes through his latest team rotations. She absently takes notes on her PDA, but soon abandons that notion and trusts John enough to know what he's doing. The note taking and the talking about work is just a pretence and it usually doesn't take them long to talk about more idle things.

They become much more comfortable with each other and ever since her divulgence about her father, she finds herself telling him more about her past and John is surprisingly good at teasing the more embarrassing stories out of her mouth. He's more forthcoming too and she finds herself knowing more about his past than she had ever thought possible. He talks about his failed marriage and the issues he has with his father. She memorises every tale, every tiny detail about his life until she feels like she knows John Sheppard inside out, can see into his very soul and see _him,_ the real John that he doesn't let anyone else see.

She knows more about him than she ever knew about Simon. Simon, who shared her life and her bed for five years, and yet never understood her like John does.

They've been doing this for a few months when John suddenly stops her mid-stride with a hand on her arm.

"What?" she says as he stares at her curiously. The look in his eyes is intense and she has to fight not to look away from it.

John steps closer and she instinctively steps back, her hip bumping into the railing.

"Joh-" she begins but he cuts her off, his lips crashing against hers as his hands find her waist. The taste of salt on his lips reminds her of the ocean and it's both frightening and calming. He deepens the kiss, his tongue fighting for entrance into her mouth and her hands automatically reach up for his face, her fingers threading through his hair, before she realises what she is doing.

It takes all of her strength to push him away, and she stares at him, gasping for air. He's standing close, too close for her to think straight, so she slips away from him, getting some distance and shoots him a look that she hopes is more livid than lustful.

"What are you doing?" Elizabeth doesn't know what to do with her hands and she folds her arms over her chest when she realises they are trembling from something she can't identify.

"I would have thought that was obvious," says John cockily. "Besides, I usually kiss a girl on the second date, so I think we're way overdue."

"What?" Elizabeth chokes, her mind caught on the word date. "We're not dating."

"Yes, we are," says John but his voice has lost its cocky edge. "You think I take all the girls for long romantic walks around the pier? Don't answer that," he adds hurriedly when she raises an eyebrow.

"John," she says slowly. "We are not dating. It would be highly inappropriate. I'm the leader of this expedition. I have to maintain a certain guise. I can't go around dating subordinates - how would it look?"

John scoffs. "Nobody cares."

"Yes, they would," she counters.

"No, they don't," says John. "Everybody knows and no one cares. In fact, they're happy for us."

"What?" But even as she says it she remembers the way the expedition members have been acting around her lately, the meaningful looks sent her way and the way Teyla had commented that she looked happier now that she had ever seen her. Elizabeth had put it down to their recent discovery of a potential Ancient cure for cancer, but now...

Elizabeth shakes her head. "Well, the IOA and the SGC certainly _would_ care," she says reasonably.

"They don't care either," says John.

And she remembers the way General O'Neill smirked at her knowingly the whole way through their last meeting on Earth. The way Woolsey had finished reading her reports and said "you seem to be doing a fine job considering" and she hadn't thought much about the comment at the time.

It all seems so obvious now.

"Oh my god," she says distantly. "We're dating?"

"You didn't know?" says John incredulously. "How could you not know?"

"Well, you never exactly made you intentions clear," Elizabeth snaps as John runs a hand over his face in frustration.

She latches on to her own anger because it helps her cover up the embarrassment of being so clueless. Twice. In her defence, she's never exactly been courted before. She just sort of fell into a relationship with Simon after being set up on a blind date with him and they ended up sleeping together that same night.

With John it feels different. She thought they were just friends, yes, but she has become closer to him over the past three months than she has ever been with anyone else. He knows her better than anyone and she knows him too. She can pick out his moods from a mile away, from the way he tenses his shoulders and diverts his eyes. He's angry and hurt and she hates that she is the cause of it.

"John," she says and it pains her to say it. "We can't."

John clenches his jaw in an attempt to get his temper under control. "Nobody cares, Elizabeth," he says again. "The only person who has a problem with this is you."

The force of his words slams into her but before she can reply, he's already stormed back inside.

* * *

He gives her the cold shoulder for days.

He avoids her outside of meetings, takes his lunch at odd times and even though she searches for him as she walks along the pier, the wind picking up as summer draws to an end, she never sees him.

This time, it's not the companionship she misses. There's always someone on Atlantis who will share a meal with her or take a long walk and have a chat.

She misses _him_. She misses the way John used to monopolise her free time. The way she could talk to him about anything and he would listen and not judge. She misses the goofy smiles that were just for her and nobody else. She misses the way he would open up to her, let her see the real him.

It's not until Teyla says she is sorry that her and Colonel Sheppard have broken up that Elizabeth realises just how much she has screwed everything up.

_3_.

Once again, it starts with chocolate.

* * *

Elizabeth slips into the empty seat opposite him and slides her last bar of chocolate across the mess hall table. John stops glowering into his uneaten breakfast long enough to glance at it, then at her, before looking away again.

"How about dinner tonight?" she asks him, ignoring the way his eyes avoid her petulantly.

He stares past her, his fingers playing idly with the edges of the candy bar wrapper as he thinks carefully about her offer. She can feel her palms sweating and wonders if she should have let him wallow in self-pity for a little bit longer.

"Okay," he says eventually and Elizabeth lets out the breath she has been holding. She smiles and gets up to leave.

"Oh, and John," she tosses over her shoulder, her lips quirking impishly. "Just so we're both clear - this _is_ a date."

She's rewarded with a startled grin and that same goofiness on his face that she loves so much.

* * *

After dinner, she kisses him softly on the lips and when they go for a long walk around the pier, their fingers brush together until she dares herself to lace her fingers through his. He smiles when she does it and she can feel her cheeks turn pink when Ronon jogs past them on his evening workout. But then John tugs her into a darkened alcove, his body pressing her into the wall as he leans in to kiss her hungrily and she forgets all the reasons why this isn't a good idea.

John's hands explore underneath her shirt, his fingers hot on her skin, teasing a moan out of her. She thinks they are moving too fast and has to remind herself that, technically, they _have_ been dating for three months.

"Remind me again," she says as John's lips trail kisses down her neck, "why we didn't do this sooner?"

John shrugs. "I was waiting on you to make the first move."

"Well that was stupid," she retorts.

He grunts in agreement and she grabs his face, lifting his gaze up so she can look him in the eye. "I'm done taking this slow," she says seriously.

John's eyes widen. "Just so we're clear," he says swallowing, "that means…"

Elizabeth leans close to whisper in his ear. "Take me to bed, John."


End file.
